I am sure at some point in your life you have heard this saying. The sentiment behind it holds true on the mat. So if you feel like your teammates are being hard on you, it may be time to reflect on your own disposition. This is the topic our post today.
New Guy Syndrome
Beginning anything new comes with its set of trials and tribulations. Understanding that you don’t know what you don’t know takes a little time, and the knee jerk reaction by most will be to overcompensate in other ways. For me, it was trying to be strong. Not necessarily aggressive, but trying to power my way out of bad situations. It took me a long time to learn to give that up. I still catch myself now and again, but I now have the luxury of awareness. And awareness only comes with time and experience. Some new guys though take it a step further. Which is being overly aggressive with teammates.
Newton’s Third Law
If you’re relatively new at Jiu Jitsu and find yourself taking an lot of forearms to face, knuckles to ribs, or find your face inspecting the quality of the mat material frequently, the issue may begin with you. For every force, there is an equal and opposite force. You get what you give. If you decide that your way to overcompensate from your lack of knowledge (ie technique) is going to come in the form of aggression, expect the aforementioned forearms and knuckles from your more senior teammates. In a perfect world, they will take you aside and bring light to your folly, but I have found from my own personal experience that nothing corrects quicker than a little well placed pain. And I’m not talking about giving it. I’m talking about receiving it. Many a day I went home from practice barely able to lift my arms. Be strong. Get arm-barred. Be strong, get your face smashed into the mat. At some point it clicks. I knew for certain that I did not want to continue my post as the designated mat material quality control inspector. So if you insist on playing the role, expect that armbar and get yourself a Tushy bidet for $99. The choice is yours.
The Mat Bully
Being overly aggressive is not entirely limited to new guys. Some people have a hair across their ass. Shit in their Cheerios. Whatever you want to call it. We all have bad days. These people have bad months. And they take it out on their unsuspecting teammates. The same laws of physics apply. They too will get their share of forearms, elbows, and knuckles. And we can only hope it sinks in after a while. Typically, I think it does. They won’t grow in the art, and at some point, the tides turn. The new guy taking the brunt of the mat bully’s aggression will wear off his shine, learn proper technique, and will soon be able to remind the mat bully not to be so much of d*ck. Else, you’ll find these people disappear from the landscape. And that’s ok too. If you’re new, avoid them. No harm in saying no. And maybe that will get the point across. We have a saying at our gym, “Don’t break your toys.” Translated quite simply into don’t be an overly aggressive d*ck whistle.
Until next time….
Keep on truckin’.
Ted