Cauliflower ears. Monkey ears. Hematomas. Whatever you call them, they seem to be a hallmark of sorts in the world Jiu Jitsu. Practitioners wear them like a medal of merit. Those lumpy, bumpy ears. Not for nothing, but they look nasty. On the upside though, if you have cauliflower ear(s), most people won’t f*** with you, because they know you earned them through battle. And if they are ignorant to this fact, a little education can go a long way. I can appreciate a good monkey ear. I just don’t want them for myself. I mean look at Randy Couture. You don’t get to be one of the toughest guys on the planet without a few battle scars. For real though, his ears are crazy. (Randy if by chance you read this, you’re my all time favorite. Please don’t smash my face.) I spent a good week draining my left ear myself, and I made this cool compression rig with rare earth magnets. You can hardly tell now, but it is a total pain in the ass. I can see why some people just give up.
The basic physiology is that the skin on your ear separates from the cartilage forming a pocket. The pocket fills with serous fluid (like a blister) and voila, monkey ear. If you do nothing about it, the fluid calcifies, and you have a hard, permanent lump. They key is to drain it before it hardens. You see them a lot in boxing from blunt force trauma, but in Jiu Jitsu, it is caused more by rubbing and grinding, and white belts are especially prone to it. Unless you are like both of my coaches that have freakishly pliable ears. Some people are lucky, but most are not. Here is what I have come up with.
Prevention. I wear a headgear in practice. Yes, I know I look like a tool. I’m the 42 year old guy losing his hair wearing headgear. I’m pretty sure the Humpty Dance song has a verse about me in it now. But guess what, my first bout with monkey ear was my last. That week of draining and magnets was a total pain in the ass. And once you get it, you are more susceptible to getting it again. If you are going to wear headgear though, make sure it is not the hard, high school wrestling kind, because those suck for your training partners. Hint hint to my hard, high school wrestling headgear wearing teammates. You can get a soft headgear with hard ear cups off Amazon for like 20 bucks. Done and done. If you’re too cool for school and refuse to wear headgear, your style has a lot to do with your chances of getting it. Unfortunately, white belt style is great for getting monkey ear. Pulling your head out of tight chokes. Getting your face and ears smashed into the mat. It’s going to happen. I just prefer to get my ass kicked with headgear on. “Now stop what you’re doing, cause I’m about to ruin, the rhythm and the style that you’re used to…”
Happy Friday!